Are you that Mom that does everything for your family and others? Hands up because this book is for you.
About The Manager Mom Epidemic: How Moms Got Stuck Doing Everything for Their Families and What They Can Do about It
It’s impossible to deny, most moms continue to do way more household work and childcare than most dads. Working full time, raising kids, cooking dinner, making sure every appointment and activity is lined up and that everyone gets there on time… no wonder you’re tired! But despite all the books and articles lamenting the crushing mental load and emotional labor women bear for their families, no one has come up with a plan to actually make things change. Until now.
The Manager Mom Epidemic is the first book that not only acknowledges the fact that moms are burning out, but shows you how to transfer responsibility for daily tasks from yourself to your partner and also (gasp!) your kids. Clinical psychologist and child discipline expert Thomas W. Phelan, PhD explains how we got into this mess in the first place, and how we can get out of it through a calm, systematic approach to teaching our families how to take initiative and contribute in meaningful ways. Dr. Phelan walks you through real-life situations and shows you how to step back from the things that are dragging you down.
Realistic and simple enough to implement in your home right away, The Manager Mom Epidemic provides a roadmap for you to take your life back and proves that the happiest families share the work and the fun equally.
Have you ever read the title of a book, stopped and thought – oh goodness this is me. Then you read the book description and you start to fill with dread because everything in it describes you to the T and you are almost scared to see what it says. That is what happened for me when I first read about this book.
I work full time and on top of it part time with my blog. On top of this, we have two young children in competitive sports along with all the normal household and day to day activities we all do. I had been handling it well but in the last year, I have found myself losing my patience more at home, feeling burned out and tired of the arguments. I don’t want to have to remind someone to brush their teeth, pick up their clothes, feed the dogs (this just sounds annoying listing all of it!) but I find I do this on a regular basis. I don’t want to be the mean, nagging Mom and I have had enough.
This book helped me walk through why and how I let myself get this way – I like to help my family, I like to make sure they are fed, happy and healthy. But what I didn’t realize that what I was doing was preventing them from learning the responsibility of doing this themselves and putting additional strain on me that didn’t need to be there.
But how did I need to go about stopping what I had already put in motion? And could we even change our behaviours?
This book gave me so much hope and practical help to implement change in our home. I loved the letter from Mom to her family – this was something I could do and it was honest, to the point but still open and friendly. Whenever I approached my family in the past, it would start off nice but it would slowly turn into an argument over who does more. Throughout the book, there were so many tools that parents can implement at home to bring about a positive change. I felt confident that I could implement some of these changes slowly to encourage the behavioural changes I wanted to see in my family (we started with washing our own glasses after we have a drink and not leaving ten glasses for Mom to come home to after work).
What I really loved about this book was that it felt like you were sitting down to a cup of coffee (or glass of wine) with a good friend, venting your frustrations and then coming up with a solution that works for the whole family. You have laughs over some of the shared stories that we can all relate to (the morning nightmares trying to get kids out the door, homework fights, etc..) but then he breaks down those moments to look at how everyone is feeling and how can we change these moments so that everyone is happy (not just Mom). This is an excellent book for all parents (don’t be put off by the title – Dads you should read this too) and even a great book to introduce to parents of young children to adopt changes before they get to this point. A definite must have resource for parents!
You can purchase a copy of this book on Amazon.
About the Author
Dr. Thomas W. Phelan is an internationally renowned expert, author, and lecturer on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder. A registered Ph.D. clinical psychologist, he appears frequently on radio and TV. Dr. Phelan practices and works in the western suburbs of Chicago.
Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in order to facilitate this review. All opinions expressed are my own.